HTales from the Table


The Bear Killer

Posted on January 16, 2017

On a one-shot goofy adventure with friends, my young brother took up the role of DM. I was testing a Gnome Wizard Illusionist I called Guizmo, who had a funny background—he was once a very talented Thief who, in a turn of bad luck, swapped his skills with a Wizard’s apprentice and became a Wizard himself. After that he decided to travel the world to spread the legend of the talented Thief he once was (I was quite inspired that day). Our friends played a Tiefling Wild Magic Sorcerer and a very annoying Human Monk Jedi.

After some sea combat with pirates, we arrived in a town where the DM prepared a side quest for us, starting at a…

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Fighting for the Right to Party

Posted on January 12, 2017

In my 10+ years of D&D, I’ve played a good majority of the classes, but until recently had yet to rise to what I considered to be the ultimate roleplaying challenge: a Bard. My group was starting up a new campaign, and with the arrival of 5e I decided to throw caution to the wind and roll up a dashing, silver-tongued Half-Elf named Seamus. All the while I was cracking jokes about having to sing my way out of battle.

I’d missed the first few sessions in the campaign, so Seamus had to come in as a hostage found in a bugbear-infested dungeon. The dungeon had the added surprise of gelatinous cubes that could be “ridden” by a humanoid…

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I Can Feel it in my Beard

Posted on January 10, 2017

During a 5e game with an old-school tone, our 5th level party found itself in a difficult fight. Thanks to a combination of poor decision making, bad die rolls, and mind flayers, the Half-Orc Barbarian found himself dead, and the player had no interest in a new character. Raise Dead, of course, states explicitly that it won’t regrow missing organs and will automatically fail if the body is missing any essential parts.

After the predictable jokes about the Half-Orc never having used his brain anyway (mind flayers!) we scraped together enough gold for a full-blown resurrection, only to be told that no one in the area could cast it.…

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A Tale of Newbies

Posted on January 09, 2017

A group of college friends and I decided it would be really fun to start a D&D group. Only one of us had played before, so he was the DM. Our party consisted of a Drow Rogue named Soren, a Drow Ranger named Faeremma, a Genasi Mage named SupaHot, a Deva Paladin named Noodle the Holy, a Wilden Invoker named Scalymanbeast, and me, a Hengeyokai hexblade named UDoneMessedUp (you can see that we took naming our characters seriously).

Our DM started us out locked in a dungeon with no memory of the last three months. All of us being totally new, we immediately did the most logical thing we could think of—we cautiously proceeded to search…

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The Hungry Jelly

Posted on January 08, 2017

I’m one of those DM’s who lets you roll on a critical fumble table when you roll a natural 1. I think it’s just fair if you consider the huge impact a natural 20 brings. Moreover there’s no thing as “automatic success” in my campaigns (the spellcasters even have to roll for a cantrip).

My party consisted of a Half-Elf Bard, a Human Fighter, and a Half-Elf Warlock. They called themselves “Two half and a man.” Their very first quest was a classical adventure that took them underneath the village of Daggerfall. After a few encounters that happened to be no real match for the group, they found a stinking hole. It seemed to be a…

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