Tales

Down the Zombie Hole

Posted on May 19, 2017

The first game I ever played will always be pretty memorable. My friend's dad had been playing D&D for years, and all of us wanted to give it a try. So he agreed to DM a few sessions for us. We spent our time crafting our characters, learning the rules, and sitting around the table having fun. Starting at 1st level was my Barbarian, a Fighter, a Rogue, a Ranger, and a Wizard. Who needs healing when everything was going to die anyway?

Eventually we started the game (oh so generically) in the tavern, when a man burst in proclaiming the noble he was protecting had been ambushed on the road. The man now required the help of adventures to…

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The Intellectually Challenged Wizard

Posted on May 17, 2017

I was DMing my group through their second session, running them through an abandoned minotaur temple hidden deep within a mountain. The party consisted of a Human Fighter, a Halfling Ranger, a Dragonborn Sorceress, Beloth the Tiefling Wizard, and me as their DM. This tale, as did many other memorable moments from this particular dungeon crawl, revolves around Beloth.

See, Beloth was the most intelligent character in the party with an intelligence of 18 at first level (he’s a Wizard, after all). But unfortunately this character was not played by the most intelligent player at the table. In fact, my dear friend playing this Wizard isn'…

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Curiosity Killed The Cleric’s Brain

Posted on May 12, 2017

In our 5e campaign run by my wife, I play a half-orc barbarian named Durak, who pretty much has the linguistic power of The Incredible Hulk and Groot. Literally all he can say is "I am Durak" and "Durak smash.” This has led to some interesting yet hilarious scenes due to his rather low Intelligence and Wisdom.

In our latest adventure, the party was called up to a cloud giant's tower. He offered us shelter and travel to the place where we were headed next, so long as we stayed on the ground floor. So, naturally, due to adventurer's curiosity, we desperately wanted to check out the second floor.

After a few flubs by the Cleric and a l…

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The Tanking Wizard

Posted on May 05, 2017

In college I joined a Friday night game club where several games of D&D were taking place simultaneously, all within the same 3.5 campaign. It was my first time playing since I was nine.

I created a Half-Elf Wizard named Jathiel Pascal, but he was killed and brought back as a kobold. So now I had Jathiel the kobold Wizard. Jathiel was an unconventional Wizard who had taken two levels of Swordsage by level 12, and had elected to forgo a familiar and not specialize in any school of magic. I was new at the game, so my character had no specifically planned build. He learned whatever spells sounded cool to him, and he bought items that pl…

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Tree Hugging Berserker

Posted on May 04, 2017

As a long-time DM, I've a number of odd and humorous stories from past sessions. The one that frequently comes to mind is the momentous occasion of irony from an AD&D 2E game.

Grockgar the Dwarf was a Berserker who traveled in the company of an Elf Druid named Tressar. Grock and Tress would argue constantly, as Grock's mountain clan of Dwarves held the forest-dwelling Elves Tress belonged to in contempt for their tree-hugging ways. These arguments would generally ring out during long stretches between towns while adventuring, and despite the arguments the two did seem to have a fondness for each other (but they'd never admit it).

Du…

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