HTales from the Table


Because Pastries

Posted on February 11, 2016

My group is very much into the roleplaying aspect of D&D and so are very devoted to performing actions in a manner fitting our characters.

We recently started a new campaign and, wanting to try something different, I rolled a tremendously overweight Half Orc Bard named Grub the Gluttonous.

Our group soon found ourselves in a small town that supposedly held a secret crypt filled with Dragon artifacts. While the others went to the library to find clues to the crypts whereabouts, Grub went in search of a meal and happened to find the greatest little bakery that served an assortment of pastries.

While gorging himself on eclairs,…

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What Am I Saying?

Posted on February 11, 2016

A few years back our group was playing a year-long planar campaign in D&D 3.5. Near the beginning of our adventure we were tasked with investigating the sudden disappearances of people and supplies from a kingdom on the material plane. We discovered that Githyanki were raiding from across the astral planar, so we wanted to follow them back and locate their fortress to bring in reinforcements later.

On the way we encountered an astral skiff full of Githyanki scouts. A terrible and bloody battle was waged, that only ended with a last minute gamble for our Psion to Oversurge and spend almost all his powerpoints to blow the skiff up…

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Spread the Love

Posted on February 10, 2016

Following an intense battle our Cleric had searched the surrounding mountain range and successfully found an Alchemy Jug. This magical item had the ability to produce several different liquids on command. Out of all the useful things it could produce, the one the Cleric was happiest about was... well, we will get to that in a moment. 

Later in the adventure the party had helped a local pub owner rescue his shipment of ale and rum. After the mission was completed, the party strolled into the pub to a massively warm welcome. Saul, the bartender, declared free ale for all.

The celebration commenced with people drinking directly…

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Sword & Pedestal

Posted on February 08, 2016

I was running an epic level adventure for some friends and was parodying a ton of stuff from movies, books, and video games. The whole thing was really just one big joke for us, but it gave us the chance to run an amazing adventure, do whatever we wanted, and have fun with it.

Towards the beginning of the adventure I gave the party the option to choose from an array of weapons. Each and every one was a reference to something from pop culture or mythology; Gungnir, Odin’s spear from Norse mythology; Hammer from Donkey Kong/Smash Bros.; Dagger of Time from Prince of Persia; and so forth. One of the weapons I described immediately…

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I Am Horse!

Posted on February 07, 2016

In my session last night I ran into an interesting situation involving some thugs, a Wizard, and a horse.
My party was returning to Neverwinter after having hunted down some Drow who'd kidnapped citizens of their home town. Spirits were high, and the Ranger rode ahead with the Wizard to duel a noble at high noon (who he'd inadvertently smacked in the face with a coffin a couple of days before). On the way to the duel the Ranger was accosted by a gang of thugs hired to soften him up before his fight, and was saved due to some lucky rolling by the Wizard...
But they were left with a problem. They were standing in the alleys of the…

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