Tales

Ignorance is a Powerful Weapon

Posted on October 15, 2018

I once had the joy of playing an epic level Chaotic Good Warlock named Vargranakh. While he tried to do whatever he thought was good, he had a fundamental lack of understanding of how the law worked. So whenever someone tried to impose punishment on him, he would make it as difficult as possible.

The best example of this was when the party visited the Gnome capital city, Steamcrag—a flying mechanical metropolis. Due to the time constraints we had because of our quest, we went to the highest authority there, who turned out to simply be the wealthiest person in town.

We went to his house and asked the guards outside to let us see him.…

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Why You Never Scratch Ulric’s Paint

Posted on October 11, 2018

I had recently stopped DMing to be a player for the first time in a while, and decided I'd play a Warforged that had three souls. A Lawful Good Paladin, True Neutral Monk, and a Chaotic Evil serial killer were the souls trapped here. Apparently my personality rolls (a D4 until I hit 1-3) enjoyed setting me on chaotic evil.

We came across a locked warehouse and everyone wanted to be sneaky. However, my friend said, "Hey Ulric, open the door!"

I roll. Chaotic Evil it is.

Ulric gave a thumbs up, cackled, and the towering juggernaut walked through the door and wall.

In a panic a gnome guard came out and shouted, "What are you doing he…

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IO All of U

Posted on October 10, 2018

We were playing DnD 3.5 and had decided to play through the World’s Largest Dungeon. In one of our first sessions we had a player join us who was quite literally a new player. He had never Role Played before.

As he was feeling his way through the character sheet we discovered a room with a giant red glowing gem floating about 3 feet off the floor. The glow was described as "ominous" and "eldritch". The Halfling Sorcerer, Boggo Appletree, and the Cleric of Kossuth, Urstu of Thay (me), both immediately started checking out the room and calling for the other characters to "touch nothing, do nothing!"

Chris, our new player, and his Elve…

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A Silly Story

Posted on October 09, 2018

I recently began running Lost Mines for my family and teaching them how to play. My brother is playing a Forest Gnome Rogue who just wants to run from fights and speak with every woodland creature the group encounters.

In our last session, he wanted to try to get the many squirrels, birds, and raccoons in the area to serve as his scouts throughout the group’s travels. The area they were going through was perilous, so dozens of extra eyes would be helpful.

He offered a reward of food to the creatures as an incentive to join him, and that’s when it went full-tilt Disney. Soon there was a herd of creatures wanting handouts, singing and…

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Troublesome Dwarf

Posted on October 08, 2018

I joined an online D&D group with a bunch of strangers, and assumed the other players knew each other. There were six players, including me and a DM. My companions included a Dwarf Barbarian/Monk, a Half-Orc Paladin, a Cleric, a Fighter and an Elf Rogue. I played the second Rogue in the group, except my archetype was an arcane trickster which is super cool but bad at finding traps.

The DM ran the Tomb of Horror campaign, and I was excited to play one of the classics. The DM was cool and the players were fun to be with, except for the Dwarf—a multiclass Barbarian/Monk who consumed most our time arguing with the DM. The Dwarf was a jer…

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