Tales

An Eggcellent Adventure

Posted on April 02, 2018

On my first foray into 5E with a new DM we had a fairly standard plot hook. My Tiefling Monk, my wife's Wood Elf Druid, the Half-Elf Warlock, Human Paladin, and the High-Elf Rogue were all in a tavern for unrelated reasons. A rather frazzled Tiefling Wizard named Zoroaster (Z for short) came in and vented to the bartender about his missing apprentice.

Figuring it was fairly obvious what our DM intended, we volunteered to go after the young apprentice (Tim by name) who had been sent out to fetch an owlbear egg. After explaining to everyone out of character that an owlbear was precisely what it sounded like, we journeyed through the wo…

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Meepo the Mighty Kobold

Posted on March 13, 2018

This story begins in the Fifth Edition Sunless Citadel adventure included in the Yawning Portal book. My girlfriend wanted to run it for friends, and since I'd already read much of the adventure, I played a Kobold in the dungeon that would join the party rather than be with them from the start.

I chose Meepo, a somewhat pathetic kobold who, anyone who's played Sunless Citadel knows, needs to redeem himself in the tribes’ eyes. Thus Meepo the kobold became Meepo the Rogue. The party consisted of a Wizard inspired by the Emperor from Star Wars, an old Bard, and a Tortle Druid looking for love. Essentially it was a group of old guys who…

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At the End of My Rope

Posted on March 06, 2018

My group's first few experiences with D&D weren't very serious. We just kind of joked around a lot, and it irritated our DM. So in the next campaign he did, he gave us pre-generated characters.

By this point, I considered myself a decent role-player, and one of our other friends thought the same way about himself. Our party dynamic was pretty interesting. We had the naive Cleric, the dashing and vain Fighter (me), the constantly flustered Paladin (the other good role-player), the gender fluid Dwarf Rogue, and the ever-fuming Wizard. My character was generally hated by everyone except the Cleric (who I treated like a kid brother most …

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First Encounters

Posted on March 05, 2018

I was in the sixth grade, and at my mom's house watching TV with my older brother when she asked us if we wanted to play a game. We agreed, and she hauled out this huge black box with a big red dragon on the cover that she’d just bought. I should note that she had never played an RPG, but thought it might be good for my brother and me.

So we sprawled out on the floor as she cracked the box open. The first thing that grabbed me were the dice. I remember trying to figure out how to read the d4, and then ultimately deciding that the d12 was the coolest thing ever. In the meantime my mom had gotten everything set up and then began to rea…

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Is There Such a Thing As Too Much Poison?

Posted on March 02, 2018

Sometimes an evil party will be tasked by evil agents of their evil god to do evil things. It happens.

In this particular instance, my evil party and I were told we needed to assassinate a prominent Dwarven Priest. The fact that he was secluded inside the largest church in the largest Dwarven city complicated matters somewhat.

In a fit of what can only be described as guile we decided to rule out our usual frontal assault and go with some clever poisoning. We had the most cunning of plan—using the mail service we would send the Priest a sealed scroll case filled with poisonous gas. In case of leaks in the seal, we also decided to co…

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