Tales

One Way to get Stoned

Posted on February 06, 2017

Our group of rather ill-fated adventurers were exploring an underground lair, in the attempt to prevent a shadowy cabal from releasing and making a deal with a Pit Fiend. This lair would end up being a dungeon that broke our party.

By this point we had already lost two of the team, our Oracle and our Rogue, who was the unluckiest player I've ever gamed with. Nobody should ever fail as many simple tasks as he did, but the dice just hated him.

The Rogue had made a new character, a Sorcerer, and the party continued to delve into the dungeon, slowly making progress. Finally, we emerged in a room where a tall, slender NPC with her face c…

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Don’t Tease the Half-Ogre

Posted on February 02, 2017

I played D&D for years with my friends in high school, but I wasn’t very good at making characters. For some reason I always tried to make the 'intelligent' types—sometimes a Mage, sometimes a Cleric—but none were very useful when it came to combat. To top it off, my characters were often fairly meek in personality to begin with, so they weren’t respected by the other players, despite all the high hopes I’d had for them.
Eventually I got fed up with it and thought, "Fine, I'll make something completely different," and my next character went against the grain. He was a Half-Ogre named Noiugk. He was tall, extremely strong, and he fough…

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The (Un)Holy Prophet

Posted on January 27, 2017

In one particularly epic 4e campaign, I played a Cleric for the first time, a human named Valric dedicated to Amaunator.

We were playing in a Forgotten Realms setting in which the sun and the stars were losing their light and their warmth—a big deal for his faith—all culminating towards the Pyramid of Shadows adventure module. My party, however (a Druid, Swordsage, Ranger, and a Gnome Warlock who had a parasitic star spawn digging tentacles into his brain that he wore like a hat) found themselves in need of a key to activate a portal to reach the next step in our campaign. A key held by a Necromantic cult that had been alluded to and…

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It’s Been in the Family For Years

Posted on January 25, 2017

I have this unfortunate tendency to always want to play a sticky-fingered Rogue whenever I game. I say it's unfortunate because my current group doesn't seem to take too kindly to my, um... play style. I always make sure to have max ranks in Sleight of Hand, so whenever possible I palm a few gold coins here and there (because I'm a Rogue, it's what we do). One time I managed to score big.

We were on a quest in pursuit of a group of bandits. They’d been ravaging a nearby town and my party, being the goody-two-shoes they are, vowed to put an end to it. I was more interested in finding the pile of loot the bandits had been pilfering fro…

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How Did We Survive This Long?

Posted on January 24, 2017

In the first campaign I ever participated in, many bizarre happenings occurred—largely due to obscene incompetence. The DM was super-experienced (and a bit of a sadist). He let us do whatever we wanted, but held us to standard D&D consequences.

In this homebrew party, we had a Half-Elf Fire Mage with pyromaniac tendencies; a Minotaur/Storm Giant Druid with an affinity for girls and grog; myself, an Avariel Ranger with the worst constitution in the group; and a Kinder-like squirrel creature with negative intelligence (but enough charisma to gain thirteen followers and start a small religion). In between failing our saves, our party wo…

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