Tales

An Elk Too Large

Posted on October 05, 2018

Our party of intrepid heroes were slipping quietly through a dungeon. We were pretty low level, and we'd already had several encounters that day, so we were running short on spells. Spotting a pair of double doors at the end of a long ten-foot-wide corridor, the party Monk snuck forward and slowly pushed one open a crack to get a peek inside. Immediately the Monk closed the door as quietly as she could and gestured to the party to quietly follow her away from the door.

"There's a Drow Wizard in there with a couple bugbear guards and at least four spiders the size of a horse. I think that's the guy we're looking for!"

The Cleric frow…

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How Do You Like Your Cultist?

Posted on October 04, 2018

A while ago I was DMing the Lost Mines of Phandelver. The party had reached the ruins of Thundertree, where they encountered some cultists come to offer tribute to Venomfang the dragon. Somehow the party got the the cultists to agree to go with the party to meet the dragon the next morning.

During the night, the Rogue snuck into the house the cultists were staying in and poured his flasks of oil all over the place, carefully leaving a trail to the door before sneaking back out. He then realized he forgot to steal the tribute, so he snuck back in and took it—it was just sitting there, not even in a locked box.

After the thievery, the…

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Pheasses the Baboon

Posted on October 03, 2018

I’m currently DMing an online game of Hidden Shrine of Tomoachan for five players. In the party we have a human hexblade Warlock, a high defense tiefling Paladin, a noble Ranger, a human Cleric, and a Rogue.

After the party made their way out of the first room of the dungeon, they encountered a baboon with a satchel. The Paladin cast speak with animal to find out from the creature if there was an easy way out of the dungeon. However, what the poor Paladin didn't know was that the baboon was a total jerk.

The satchel the baboon was carrying contained his personal collection... of excrement. Which he then threw at the tiefling's face.…

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We Hear and Obey

Posted on October 02, 2018

In the 80s my friend and I were in the Scouts in the UK. We went off on a week’s summer camp hosted by a leader from another troop. We didn’t like the guy. He was very traditional and seemed to choose activities because he felt scouts should do them, not because he thought we’d enjoy them.

My friend and I were two of the more senior scouts, and on a blazingly hot day he told us to take charge of a 12 mile route march which he wasn’t coming on. No-one fancied this.

We set off in the morning, laden down with supplies. We led our charges a mile or so away from camp until we found a nice secluded spot, then sat them down in the shade an…

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The Owlman Rises

Posted on October 01, 2018

I was running Curse of Strahd and the party was in the town of Vallaki. The party consisted of a Shadow Monk with a gift for deception, a heroic tiefling Arcane Trickster Rogue, a halfling Lore Bard who was surprisingly cheerful for someone sent to Barovia, and a half-elven Wild Mage Sorcerer.

During their first night in Vallaki, the Rogue decided to free some people unjustly imprisoned in the stocks by the wicked baron for “malicious unhappiness.” She snuck out of the inn, freed them, and returned without anyone noticing. The Monk, upon finding out the next morning that someone had freed the prisoners and realizing it was one of his…

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