Another One Bites the Dust

Posted by Hex Draconis on February 18, 2013
jab, jab, cross, uppercut

My first real D&D campaign was back in high school, my friends having introduced me to the game a month or so earlier. My character? Hex Draconis, the creatively-named half-dragon Hexblade. Amazingly, I had actually come up with the name before I'd found that class, or even knew what a "class" was. I was new to D&D and the name sounded cool… shut up.

Anyway, it seems like the universe wanted to make up for those years I should have been playing a table top RPG by granting me a string of exceptionally lucky dice rolls. Additionally, the nature of the class really spoke to my personal playing style and as a result Hex became an unstoppable killing machine. He never once lost all his hit points, let alone become unconscious or anywhere near death.

Our DM at the time, who is to this day a great friend of mine, was a nefarious gaming genius with a panache for vicious home-brewed creations. After weeks of being destroyed by my exceptional dice rolling, he'd decided it was time for Hex Draconis to go down. He cooked up an atrocious beast, complete with every anti-Hexblade skill the rules would allow him and a few he'd invented himself. You wouldn't find this critter in any Monster Manual, it was especially cooked up to put me and my beginner's luck in our place.

The battle was intense. Round upon round of heated exchange. The party used every skill, every ability, every item we had. In the end it came right down to the wire, as all best gaming moments do, and I rolled to make what might be my last attack: a twenty!

"There's a spark of hope," I thought, but we're not out of the woods yet.

As Hex connected with his scythe (I know, I know, a scythe right? I was sixteen at the time, give me a break.) I rolled to confirm the damage and was rewarded with another sweet twenty for a critical hit.

Cheers erupted from my teammates and I leapt from my chair, a triumphant roar bursting from my lungs, throwing my arms in the air as I clocked the DM right in the side of his head. The adrenaline immediately drained out of my body.

There were many years of gaming after that moment, but to this day he swears he's going to pants me at my wedding.

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