Burglar Get Out

Posted on August 29, 2017

Our group has always been a bit on the special side. I started the group by posting at a local game-shop that I was looking for players for D&D 3.5. People came and went, and after a what seemed like forever, my campaign came to an end. Others were willing to take up the mantle as DM and before long we took the game, and the select few of us that were still a coherent group, to a friend's home, playing our nights away on a new campaign.

At the beginning of the campaign, our group consisted of a motley crew of degenerates, including the chosen of St. Cuthburt; my Halfling/people-snatcher;  Aric, our Human Rogue/party face; and a friendly enough Gnome Bard. Through the game we had our ups and downs, and a few characters have passed on (my Halfling, the first among them). But our first mission I will never forget.

We were tasked by Aric's uncle (who was leader of the Shadows, one of five thieves guilds that more or less ran the city), to unseat a city official. I'm sure the DM had different plans for us, but we decided to sneak into the official’s home and dig through his dirty laundry, so to speak. Our Rogue climbed the walls to the second story balcony and slipped inside while the Bard stood on the street as lookout, getting out his mandolin and strumming lightly for tips on the street.

Aric made his way inside and started rooting around, and breaks into a locked desk. Then into a locked closet. Then he snuck through a locked bedroom, opening up every little thing and digging frantically to find some dirt on this guy. Then the official showed up.

Out on the streets the Bard watched the official’s carriage pull in, and in a panic started to sing a song to get Aric's attention. Aric couldn’t hear him. The Bard panicked.

The player conveys to the DM that he'd like to foray the message that the Rogue needs to leave NOW via song, instead of just out and out shouting. The DM told him to roll a perform check.

Everyone fell silent. The Bard rolled. Natural 20.

The Gnome Bard spun an epic tale of a burglar robbing a dragon's hoard and avoiding the approaching dragon. The official stopped to listen, then left a generous tip for the Bard, granting the Rogue time to escape. The chorus to this song, shouted at the top of the Gnomes itty bitty lungs: BURGLAR GET OUT!

Though the author of the song is no longer with us, our adventuring party is always eager to tip a Bard into a rousing song of Burglar Get Out. I get the feeling that this song will be with us for years, if not generations.

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