Gethric the Ready
Posted on December 05, 2017
This is a story of Gethric the Ready. The NG Fighter, Bard, Dervish that was never ready… ever. Now this was early in my DM career and my group played with 3.5 rules. My PCs were as follows: a clumsy Cleric to Pelor, a wolf-loving Ranger, a punch-happy Monk, and Gethric. After some pretty epic encounters, cultists, wolves, even some ettins, our party found themselves working in a Dwarven King's army. Now Gethric had been a problem child since the get-go, getting thrown off of cliffs, getting caught sneaking into cult bases, and just terrible life choices in general, much to the amusement and anger of the rest of the party. But he wanted to prove that he deserved the title "The Ready".
So while the rest of the party was busy staffing the fort that the King had given them, Gethric went to find a quest to prove his superior forethought and planning. As it happened he found one, a local merchant needed sword arms to protect his wagon. Gethric accepted the quest with enthusiasm.
Was his plan to clear his name and show he could follow a simple task to completion? No, he was going to prove he could pull off a perfectly planned heist and rob the merchant blind.
After threatening the Cleric to gain a Disguise spell, Gethric met up with his employer, a particularly obese and foul-tempered Dwarf, and set off. Now the Dwarf had hired two other guards—this would surely deter many people from committing wrongdoings. Not Gethric the ready! He offered to take first watch on the road, and after the other two guards had fallen asleep he stepped into his employer's tent.
In the tent he saw the Dwarf asleep, his expensive fine clothes hung up, and his change box hidden under his cot. Gethric rolled to sneak up to the cot, saying simple clothes were not worth his time. Nat 20. He then rolled to grapple the sleeping Dwarf, which he of course won, only to knock him back out. He then stole the change box and the Dwarf's large silk nightgown.
Things were looking up Gethric, until he got outside to find the two other guards waiting for him. After a few good diplomacy rolls, including bribes and pretending to be the merchant's lover (at least two of which were nat 20s) he convinced the guards to actually let him go.
Gethric stole a horse from their wagon and rode all the way back to the Dwarven city, happy as could be. He shrugged off questions about where he was, or where he had gotten the box on his way back to the room. He’d been ready for everything and gotten away scot-free!
"I open the chest!" he said as soon as he got back to his room.
"It’s locked," I say
"You never looked for the key, it was in the pocket of his clothes."
Gethric was not ready for that.