Tales

Is There Such a Thing As Too Much Poison?

Posted on March 02, 2018

Sometimes an evil party will be tasked by evil agents of their evil god to do evil things. It happens.

In this particular instance, my evil party and I were told we needed to assassinate a prominent Dwarven Priest. The fact that he was secluded inside the largest church in the largest Dwarven city complicated matters somewhat.

In a fit of what can only be described as guile we decided to rule out our usual frontal assault and go with some clever poisoning. We had the most cunning of plan—using the mail service we would send the Priest a sealed scroll case filled with poisonous gas. In case of leaks in the seal, we also decided to coat the letter we were sending in a deadly contact poison. And then things went a bit off the rails.

Our Cleric who was making the poisons decided that in case the priest had cat-like reflexes and could dodge out of the way of the poisonous cloud, and always wore gloves when reading his mail, he might be a bit peckish, which is why he decided to add some poisoned food to the scroll case as well. The rest of us at the table proceed to die laughing for the next fifteen minutes as we imagined the scenario, where the Priest manages to avoid two assassination attempts but is undone by a love of cookies no matter the circumstance.

It was one of those bright shining moments that will be recounted for as long as my friends and I play the game.

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