Juggling the Numbers
Posted by Nuntius Jangler on February 19, 2013
The stories that stick with you don't always correlate with otherwise memorable games, and this is one of those.
The players were a motley of freshman neophytes and bitter veterans, and the DM never really got a handle on the module he was running. The plot was like a road trip with your incontinent uncle; lengthy pit stops in the worst possible doldrums were the norm. As anyone can tell you where there are bored players shenanigans will ensue.
How and why the decision was made for the Ranger to start juggling no one can recall. Perhaps it was simply meant to be. When that first die displayed its twenty a good laugh was had. The world's first critical juggling feat! When the second roll repeated this result the mood reached hysterics. Truly this adventurer had squandered his life's calling.
Then the third twenty happened. Then the fourth. No longer did we laugh at the fool and his juggling, for he was now performing with our very lives. Again and again the dice tumbled, each a falling star in the hands of this whimsical juggler god. Five twenties. Six. We were transfixed, dumbstruck at how laws of physics and mathematics turned cartwheels in the air for our terrible table jester. We lacked the ability to describe his performance with rational mortal concepts. In or out of game.
When he finally rolled a number other than twenty it was as if a literal spell had been broken. The earth turned once more. We could breath safely again. Whatever presence had entered our universe departed for fathomless shores and left us to our mediocre game. This incident is the only reason we still talk about an otherwise very forgettable campaign. It's pretty much the touchstone of our various in-jokes. In all our subsequent games though, no one has ever again attempted to juggle. None dare...