Original or Extra Crispy

Posted on June 14, 2018

We were playing a custom D&D game, where we had to play as either orcs or goblins and use makeshift weapons. Two of us were orcs, while myself and another were goblins.

Our first mission was to kill all the inhabitants of a small village. I was the one chosen to sneak in and investigate before we made plans and attacked. Creeping through the town, I managed to get near the center before I failed a roll and was spotted.

Panicked, the villagers sounded the alarm and fled into the church while the guards and my group rushed to my position. Lucky for me, my party arrived first, and we pushed the guards back to the church. During the mad rush I grabbed all the shiny lanterns and torches my little pyro-goblin could carry.

As my party fought the guards and pushed them into the church proper, I set the village on fire. Sadly, the church had no windows low enough for us to climb into. The battle raged before the church doors, the guards managing to keep us out. With little else to do other than watch, my goblin got mad and threw all his remaining lanterns and torches in through the open church doors.

The torches landed past the guards, and set the church on fire. The guards were distracted enough for the orcs to push them inside the church. We then closed the doors and barricaded them shut with a nearby wagon.

The DM just looked at us with a blank expression on his face as we watched the fire do our work for us.

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