Tales

Sensible Plans

Posted on July 14, 2017

Our group was in the middle of an incredible, and very long, 2nd edition campaign. We were around 12th level and had recovered artifacts of bygone eras, routed major evils, and in general were having a very challenging and rewarding time.

Ours was a mixed party of a Human Wizard, an Elven Fighter, a Halfling Fighter in service to the Wizard, and a Human Mystic Theurge (some of you will recall this very potent half Wizard/half Cleric). We’d traveled many miles across brutal terrain and fought many foes in order to reach the mountaintop where we had heard a Sage of great knowledge dwelled. The problem was that the Sage didn't want company. To this end, the Sage used great magics to create a wide chasm on the only approach to his lair, and had laid potent magics on it to cause mighty winds and terrible lightning to strike any who tried to fly across.

So, like any party worth our salt, we immediately set out to create a plan to undo these protections. After some small discussion about prepared spells and the like, I suggested in all seriousness that we could enlarge the Elven Fighter, shrink the Halfling Fighter, put said smaller Halfling in a basket, tie said basket to an enlarged arrow, give him a string to hold, and launch said arrow carrying said Halfling holding said string across to the other side of the chasm where he could anchor to the wall, then use the string to pull a rope across.

There was a great deal of quiet discussion among us players as we calculated weights and distances and arcs, and if my bow of strength could do it. We figured that if he was naked and tied directly to the arrow, it might work. Eventually, we called the DM over and I proudly outlined our brilliant plan.

The DM sat in silence for a moment before giving me a withering glare and said, "Let me get this straight: you want to shrink a party member, tie them to an arrow, naked, and shoot them at a stone wall some 300 yards away? What do you think will happen to the small party member when he hits the wall? Did it occur to you that he might tumble, still naked, to his death? Assuming he survives the impact at all?"

We all sat in stunned silence for a moment while the epicness of the silliness of our solution sank in.

That moment's silence was broken when the player of the Halfling in question piped up with, "Well of course it sounds stupid when YOU say it."

We did eventually find our way across the chasm and got to the Sage. I am deeply grateful to our DM for giving us a moment of common sense in an uncommon campaign.

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