Tales

Waffle the Holy Pancake

Posted on March 21, 2019

I was a member of a 5e campaign where our party—consisting of my Genasi warlock, a halfling barbarian, an elf fighter, and a gnome cleric, the poor target of this story—was called to defeat a black dragon terrorizing the locals in a seaport.

We had managed to draw it out to the countryside, to the open plains, and our Cleric, Waffle (this nickname due to the fact that the only food he would eat was waffles; He claimed it was the holy symbol of his god) stayed on the ground and took out the minions of this dragon as the others proceeded to take to the skies.

Waffle had managed to somehow survive, right up until we killed the dragon. Our DM reminded us, only after the fact, that a dead dragon cannot fly, and so it plummeted to the ground, unfortunately towards Waffle. Waffle, being the comedian he was, looked up and could only hold up his holy symbol to the hulking mass of death hurtling towards him before he was flattened, engulfed entirely.

Waffle had been a party favorite due to his high stats and wise words, and so we were disheartened further when our DM, the cruel one he is, described that after we moved the dragon, Waffle was legitimately pancaked into the ground, the holy symbol embedded on his hand.

He was henceforth known as Waffle the Holy Pancake. We did revive him, but the name stuck.

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