Tales

The Legend of the Knifelock

Posted on March 22, 2019

We're a fairly new group, but we're an enthusiastic bunch. Our DM's brother is one of the newest of the new and he plays a halfling Warlock. With three daggers.

Now, I'm wondering to myself, why does he need three daggers? Of course, I was also wondering why he and the elf Monk had just fallen out of an airship with the corpse of a slave owner, but after about five to ten minutes of discussion (and exasperating the DM) we decided to let them come with us. I also took the slave owner's sword.

We'd been playing Storm King's Thunder and there were some bandits holed up in a tavern that we had to clear out. To be fair, it was also our f…

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Waffle the Holy Pancake

Posted on March 21, 2019

I was a member of a 5e campaign where our party—consisting of my Genasi warlock, a halfling barbarian, an elf fighter, and a gnome cleric, the poor target of this story—was called to defeat a black dragon terrorizing the locals in a seaport.

We had managed to draw it out to the countryside, to the open plains, and our Cleric, Waffle (this nickname due to the fact that the only food he would eat was waffles; He claimed it was the holy symbol of his god) stayed on the ground and took out the minions of this dragon as the others proceeded to take to the skies.

Waffle had managed to somehow survive, right up until we killed the dragon. …

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Flamin’ Spoders

Posted on March 20, 2019

Early in the adventure, the heroes of the game I was DMing were delving in an ancient tunnel that was leading them to a crypt for the previous heroes.

On the way in was an old foyer that had an impossibly high ceiling with a dragon skeleton hanging from it. However, it had been several hundred years since anyone had walked through the room, so a pair of giant spiders had turned the skeleton into their home.

Before the PCs reached the room, I randomly checked to see if the spiders were out roaming or in the room. I roll. They are in the next room.

The players come to the room, where sticky strands of web are hanging down over their …

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The Many Uses of Seeming

Posted on January 18, 2019

My favorite character, Zook Waywocket, had a conundrum. Our campaign had recently (and temporarily) become political, having found and rescued a group of dwarven ambassadors from Mirabar. Veit Holderhek, a native of same, wanted to parlay that rescue into aid for our party, which was recently forced to flee after taking on the entire Fire Temple at once (a great story in and of itself, involving a tense standoff and the Paladin Sariel Moonbrook saving Zook at the last instant from being hurled into a lava fall).

What Veit did not understand was that the Marchion of Mirabar was a) not a dwarf himself; b) technically unable to send the…

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I Hate Vampires

Posted on January 17, 2019

About two months ago I’d joined a homebrew campaign, and, thinking it was near the end, I just recycled my Dragonborn Barbarian.

Well, last week I’d decided that I was bored with him, so I tossed him out in favor of a winged Tiefling Sorcerer (since I’d had to abandon our session in the middle of a fight, the DM had my Barbarian run off chasing after a goon, and he just never came back). So, in our last game my Chaotic Neutral Pyromaniac Sorcerer joined the fight as part of a band of reinforcements, and with the others we quickly killed the boss before us.

Afterwards, a messenger came along with an invitation from the big bad of the…

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