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HTales from the Table


Enna, the Briefly Headless Knight

Posted on July 21, 2017

My favorite D&D character was an empty suit of armor. There had been a mishap, I'd watched Fullmetal Alchemist, you get the jist. Her tragic tale of ending up Alphonse Elric'd is, however, not what I'm here to tell. I'm here to relay how the rest of our party finally discovered it.

One house rule we’d used to spice up the game was that everyone had a secret, and a "trigger" for when we had a chance to reveal that secret. We could be trusted to pick the exact moment our secrets came out ourselves, as we all liked epic storylines and intrigue. The only one not interested was the Warlock, and she was kind enough to make her secret "I'm …

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HTales from the Table


Fist of Vengeance

Posted on July 20, 2017

Dramatis Personae:

I, The Elven Mage with so few hit points you only need one hand to count them.

My younger brother, The 300 pound Goblin named Meatshield.

A pair of archers.

And a Rogue.

The background:

We were playing in a homebrew setting of the DM's. We’d just completed a short dungeon dive, and were returning to the local town to inform them of our success. On our way, we heard a steady rumbling off one the side of the path. Fearing something was coming to attack the town, we followed the sound to investigate.

It was a Treant, steadily making his way deeper into the mountains.

The Goblin played by my brother decided he w…

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HTales from the Table


Stacked Like Pancakes

Posted on July 19, 2017

Our DM's attempts to create a Grimdark session were constantly getting foiled by the antics of the players, so he decided to "lean in."

We'd been exiled from a Drow city after entering a rigged WWE-style tournament and trouncing the competition (since we weren't "in" on the secret). Wandering in the forest above, our insane murder child (one of the PC's was playing a possessed 7-year-old who heard voices from the shrunken heads on his belt) wandered off and got lost, oblivious to everyone calling out his name (he had a WIS of 5—daft as a brush, but very ravenous).

Realizing he was lost, he tried to light a fire in the middle of the …

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